Productivity gurus might disagree, but life has taught me otherwise
Hustle culture has taught us that routines and consistency are the keys to wellness and success. You have to be “consistent” in your routines and your pursuits. But what if “consistency”, especially when it comes to wellness habits is difficult for you? Many people’s self-esteem, mood, and motivation suffer when they struggle with consistency. When we run into these roadblocks, there are several ways to think about these obstacles as golden opportunities to dig deeper. That new habit you’ve been trying to establish, that new wellness routine that sounds good when you see it in your calendar but somehow never happens that way… think of them as invitations.
One of the reasons we value rigid routines and consistency so much is our hustle culture indoctrination, so it’s not surprising that it can be incredibly discouraging to “fail” at these attempts. Instead of thinking of our difficulties with consistency as a failure, consider the following three ways to rethink your approach:
Natural Patterns
Sometimes, our idea of consistency as informed by hustle culture is almost robotic. Many aspects of human existence follow a pattern but don’t necessarily flow like clockwork. If you’re finding it difficult to be consistent in your wellness habits, examine whether there is a natural pattern you haven’t uncovered. Those patterns could be related to how your digestive system, energy levels or mood fluctuate. See if it is easier to be consistent by going with any pattern you recognize. The most straightforward example of this is the menstrual cycle. Hormones fluctuate in a relatively predictable way, influencing mood, energy levels, metabolism, and desires. Is there a way you can cooperate with this cycle to be more consistent?
Maybe you already know the natural pattern, but don’t want to participate in it, or perhaps can’t because of external circumstances. For example, you are not a “morning person” but your work requires you to get up early. Instead of feeling bad about this, let yourself off the hook. Apparently, morning is not the time for you to try building a new healthy habit. Make the morning as pleasurable as you can and wait for a time of day that is naturally more pleasant for you; then try to be more consistent with your habit at that new time.
Underlying Issues
Perhaps your struggle to be consistent is a sign of a deeper, more important underlying issue. The two I have encountered most frequently when I am working with people who are trying to build wellness habits are capacity and authenticity.
Capacity: So many people I know and have worked with attempt to build new wellness habits while they are super burned out. Their capacity is at an all-time low. It makes sense that finding more time for self-care and being consistent with healthy habits would be helpful, but when you have no capacity, that is almost impossible. For those folks, the goals we set for habits end up being so small, that they almost can’t believe we are articulating it that way. For example, “Take one deep breath before you get out of bed in the morning.” That’s it. Those small acts build capacity, and eventually, folks can move on to bigger goals.
Authenticity: Are the new wellness habits you want to build things you think you should be doing, or are they connected to your values and the things you know that work for you? It makes sense that it is difficult to be consistent if the thing you are trying to do isn’t even your thing!
Perfectionism
Doing things consistently does not mean doing them perfectly. Do you have an expectation of yourself that your self-care is immaculate? Are you reading this article because you identify as someone who lacks consistency but you are able to perform the behavior you are trying to build with regularity?
Knowing whether or not you have perfectionist tendencies can help a lot when you are examining your consistency. As a recovering perfectionist myself, I know that I need to infuse compassion and grace when I am evaluating how I am moving toward my goals. It has taken me a long time to learn to accept that grace from myself without it feeling like an excuse, but I have made significant progress.
To summarize, when you are struggling with consistency, check in with yourself to see if natural patterns, underlying like capacity and authenticity, or perfectionism could be playing a role in how you are evaluating your success. Then reevaluate whether consistency is the most important thing you’re working on, or if you’re being a beautiful, fluctuating human being.